On December 15th we had a memorial service to celebrate the lives of Erin and Gwen. This is the letter that God helped me to both write and to read at the service.
Dear Erin and Gwen,
I cannot believe you are gone. Words cannot adequately express the grief I feel for losing you my daughter in law and my sweet Granddaughter Gwen.
Erin, I remember the first time we met. You came to our home during Whitney’s birthday party and you brought a gift. I didn’t know that you and Isaiah were coming to the party but you engaged with Whitney and with the girls at the party and I thought, "There is something special about this girl!”
As time went on and you and Isaiah grew closer I got to see more of you and I saw your positive influence in his life and I thought, “There is definitely something special about this girl!” I like what I saw in him when you two were together and I liked getting to know you better too. You jumped right in and did things with us like a family, games around the table, and you even attended all the kids’ musical theater performances!
I remember the first time you came to church with Isaiah. Although it may have seemed different and a little strange, God kept drawing you back. There were even times that you were the one encouraging Isaiah to go to church. When you surrendered you life to Jesus I knew that God saw something special in you too.
When you and Isaiah got engaged we were all thrilled to add a daughter to our family. In the time leading up to the wedding you invited me to be a part of wedding dress shopping with your mom and your grandma. It is a day that I will always treasure and it is a reflection of who you were - someone who draws other in.
The wedding on that cold, crisp day in October was beautiful. Seeing you and Isaiah so young and in love and beginning a new life together was priceless. Three weeks later you attended the conference in cda for your marriage.
In December, a few days after Christmas, you arrived at our home with one more gift. It was a small Mickey Mouse gift bag with a pacifier inside with a note attached to “please hold onto this until my arrival” announcing your pregnancy. We were thrilled with the news.
Your due date was set for Labor Day, which we found quite humorous, but Gwenevere had her own idea of when she would make her grand entrance.
On September 8th at 6:52 pm, Gwenevere Lilly made her debut with your mom and Isaiah at your side.
Of course, there were 3 aunts, 1 uncle, 1 grandpa, and a mimi anxiously waiting in the waiting room to meet you.
What a precious gift - sweet Gwen. I remember being invited back to meet you - being there as you were weighed and measured - wow, you were a big baby 9 lbs 6 oz - you were a big baby just like your daddy (you actually passed him up!)
Seeing your footprints taken and all the initial newborn checks, what a sweet memory. But the one that is forever etched in my mind and the one I’m so thankful I got to see was the first time your daddy had his precious girl in his arms.
The tenderness in his face, the tears of joy, seeing my own child become a parent and seeing the look of unconditional love in his eyes is one of the sweetest and most profound things I’ve ever seen. You had your daddy wrapped around your finger right from the start!
The aunties and uncle and grandpa were ushered in to meet you and then we left to give you and your parents some rest for the night…but I was back the next day to hold you. And then, the rest of the family got to meet you too.
I cherish the two short months you were here. You were such a content little girl.
Erin, I’m glad that even when you faced challenges you were open and honest with me. I’m thankful too that on the Tuesday before you left, we had two hours just to talk together and that I got to hold Gwen one last time.
I don’t know what happened on November 4th, the reasons why, but I do know that you and Gwen met Jesus face to face on that day. I miss you terribly and Gwen too. I hope you know how much we all love you and how your lives have impacted us all. Your lives have left an imprint on my heart and some of that has gone to heaven with you. (And sweet Gwen, your name is now imprinted on your daddy’s arm so he carries you with you wherever he goes. It's my favorite tatoo!)
This goodbye is so much harder than saying farewell to my grandparents. You two were so young and had so much to live for.
I missed you on Thanksgiving when Gwen would have met the rest of my family. I missed you both on your birthday and Isaiah’s birthday.
I already know that I will miss you and Christmas too.
But Christmas is the one thing that gives me HOPE. Because at Christmas I remember the birth of Jesus, God who came to earth as a baby with the purpose to die, to take the place of my sin, so I could have new life in Him. Because of His death and resurrection, because of His redeeming work on the cross I grieve, but not without hope because I know one day I will see you again. The pain is still here but on those days He carries me.
If I look only at my circumstances I am overcome with grief and sorrow, and at times I still am. Death is an enemy, a thief and I feel its sting with your loss. But God. God is the giver and source of LIFE. Because of Him, death has been swallowed up in victory. My hope isn't that one day this will all be over and I feel better. My hope is that even though the circumstances are more than I can bear, God is still the same and he has made a way out of the darkness.
On the days when its dark I remember Isaiah 9:2,6 “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light, those who dwell in a land of deep darkness. For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government shall be upon His shoulder and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
So dear Erin and sweet Gwen, as you celebrate your first Christmas in heaven, I know that You are experiencing life to its fullest, life as it was intended without pain or sickness or death. So today, we remember you and Gwen. Today we celebrate your precious lives and know that for those who trust in Jesus, this is not the end but a new beginning. I love you both and look forward to the day I will see you again.
Love,
Laura (Mimi)
Here are a few more snapshots of our short time with both Erin and Gwen:
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| Isaiah and Erin at the Weekend to Remember a few weeks after the wedding |
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| Attending Josiah's graduation ceremony |
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| Christmas with family |
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| Easter 2018 |
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| Mother's Day 2018 |
The aunties and uncles take turns at holding sweet Gwen
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| Erin, Isaiah, Whitney and MaryElise at Aladdin |
